After Elisia was born, the last thing on my mind was sex.I felt completely drained, and breast-feeding took up a lot of time and energy.I’m seven months pregnant with our second child, and Ben and I are still enjoying a physical relationship.
I had post-natal depression and used to call John when he was at work, crying because I couldn’t stop Minnie from screaming and I was trying to look after Fred, too.
Our sex life dwindled after Minnie was born and we had sex infrequently in the months that followed.
We didn’t argue and he never pestered me, but I had pangs of guilt and convinced myself that if we didn’t have sex, he’d look for it elsewhere.
John did his best to reassure me that the lack of sex wasn’t an issue — that we were simply stuck in the hectic world shared by all new parents.
For a while we had no physical relationship, but we got through it by laughing a lot.
After childbirth it takes months, maybe even years, for your sex life to return to what it was.
I think having a newborn in the house affected his sex drive, too — he didn’t seem that concerned about whether we had sex or not. After the birth of my second child, I waited three years before having sex.
In part that was because my partner and I separated when I was three months pregnant, but having two babies changed things completely for me, too.
After I had Gaia, it was five months before my partner and I made love, and I admit I was terrified it would be painful.