By night’s end you’ll feel like you’ve been mud-wrestling. Getting to know this ray of sunshine reminds you of watching a disaster documentary on PBS.
You’ll learn all about the impending ravages of global warming, overpopulation, economic collapse, and killer solar storms—and all the reasons why he hates his job, his apartment, his roommate, and pretty much everything else.
The quickest way to get ahead of yourself early in a new relationship is to let the conversation wander into territory that’s highly personal.
You’ve learned (the hard way) the kind of person you don’t want to spend an evening with, which better equips you to identify the kind of person you DO want to date.
The best part is: You’re more likely to know when you’ve found the right person for a second date .
Now is not the time to play Truth or Dare, confess your sins, or to disclose your secret fantasies.
There is still plenty of “public domain” details left to discover about each other—no need to open the safe and reveal your classified information.
This is the person who begins the evening by noticing (out loud) you are wearing the same perfume he gave his ex-girlfriend on their first anniversary. ” By the end of the evening you will know everything there is to know about her—and almost nothing about him. She was voted most likely to succeed in high school; has trekked the Himalayas in Nepal; sailed solo across the Atlantic; developed a line of gourmet hotel pillow chocolates; and is preparing to audition for “American Idol.” You have no objection to someone who’s led a full and interesting life—but it would be nice to talk about something else during the evening. Before drinks are served at the little bistro you’ve suggested, she’s already texted her mother that she’d love the decor; searched the Internet for food critic reviews; downloaded an article about the chef’s home town in France; tweeted her “friends” that she is sitting down to dinner with—“I’m sorry, what’s your name again? ” The person across from you is so busy pressing buttons that you feel superfluous to the process. This date is like being back in junior high with a kid who is dying to try out all the new words he’s learned in the locker room.
Anything else besides your date’s long list of amazing accomplishments. Not to mention the racial slurs and the crude jokes.On the contrary, the purpose is to maximize your chances of creating a successful future relationship by pointing out potential hazards in the road.Danger arises when you treat a second date as a shot from a starter pistol to signal that the race for romance is on.Then it becomes apparent that you have almost nothing in common, in spite of his attractive appearance. She is intelligent, interesting, and witty—and in a desperate hurry to settle down. Her body language and your intuition combine to warn you that she has already moved past “dating” for its own sake and is ready to pick out “his and hers” bath towels with the first remotely suitable partner. Furthermore, if there is a “race” to run, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. The truth is, a second date would be better described as a “second first date.” Think of it as version 1.5 of a new software release—mostly the same, but with slight upgrades and a few of the bugs worked out.