When it comes to men, there are five things you need to know about them that affects their behavior after they've lost a spouse.1.Widowers Have an Internal Need for Relationships A few weeks after my late wife, Krista, and I were married, we had dinner with her grandmother, a widow.
Your new relationship will have unique challenges you won’t find when dating single or divorced men.
For it to work, the widower will have to put his feelings for his late wife to the side and focus on you.
During our relationship, I never loved Jennifer—at least, not in the way you need to love someone to spend the rest of your life with him or her.
When we were together, I couldn't see myself marrying or having a family with her.
Often, their loneliness is so acute that they'll attach themselves to the first person who shows the slightest interest in them.
Having someone who will hold them and tell them how much they're needed or loved will overcome the nagging feeling in the back of their mind that the relationship isn't right—at least for a while.
Despite these reservations, I didn't want to lose her.
Having Jennifer in my life brought a sense of normalcy that had been missing since Krista died.
Finally, I gave in to the feelings and signed up with an online dating site and went on my first widower date a few weeks later. We fell in love and were married 15 months after Krista died. And while there's nothing wrong with dating months or weeks after a spouse dies, most widowers who start dating again are still grieving the loss of their spouse.
(As I write this, we're a month shy of celebrating our eighth anniversary.)It wasn't until after I remarried and started researching how men grieve that I realized my desire to date again so soon after Krista's death was natural. They're not emotionally ready to make long-term or serious commitments to the women they're dating.
Sometimes it's hard to tell which men are serious about moving on and which are just looking for someone to lessen the ache in their hearts.