I am bailing on anyone who sets an arbitrary time limit. People don't need to feel under pressure for such a personal decision. I'm in the middle of wondering the same thing with someone. Anticipating what might happen in the next couple of dates. For me recently, I didn't think about if/when sex would or wouldn't happen. No, I don't put too much importance on sex and need to "save" it for some reason.
Kind of unchartered water for me because most of those I have dated before I knew in one way or another before we dated and/or had sex. I generally think things should start getting physical by the third or fourth date; if they weren't I would start worrying a bit. I was just enjoying his company, then he kissed me, then next date we made out, then next date there was a moderate amount of naked skin, then next date there was sex. " I suspect the answers here are very different for people who are dating vs those of us who are in committed relationships and thinking in the theoretical. I just do not choose to have sex with everyone I happen to find myself attracted to.
I had enough casual sex in my single days to know that I'm simply not cut out for it.
This would effectively weed out about 98% of the available dating pool for me, I'm sure, but that's ok. (If I wanted quantity, I'd skip the trouble of dating altogether and just troll on Craigslist.) I realize sex is simply not that big of a deal to some people, but it is to me.
For me, it's not something to be done with just anyone I find attractive, just because I can.
Some of the most long lasting relationships don't begin with official 'dating' but just spending time doing things.
When one of the people involved begins to wonder why they aren't having sex and all of the doubts about the relationship that can involve, then you have waited too long.
You can mention that stuff if you want, but I for one don't intend to insist. I mean how long is too long from the individual poster's point of view.
Also, I reported my OP to the mods because I put "committed" in the subject line when I meant "dating" and was unable to change it.
If two adults are dating and attracted to each other there is simply no reason to wait for sex past 3-4 dates or a couple weeks.
Anything longer simply screams of waiting for the sake of proving something, or punishing me for your past bad choices in men.
Whatever may have been true for a young version of me many years ago, for the person I am now, sex is something you do with someone you know well. I don't know how long I could wait if there was never anything past kissing, but if we're doing other preliminaries and making regular progress, I'd be willing to wait longer.