Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
Actually, before you answer that you need to read over my ten simple rules to date her, sign your life away (just technicalities), as well as give some samples of your DNA for future use, if necessary.
Now that we got the small stuff out of the way, read the following rules below and if you agree and sign you may qualify to date my beautiful, wonderful, innocent and precious daughter.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.
This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Rule #6 If you plan on dating other girls besides my daughter make sure that you have told her and that she is okay with this.
If she is not okay with this and you make her upset, I will have to find several new methods to make you upset as well.
Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.
Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.