Dating again after 50

Perhaps you’re ready to see the world and want to find someone who shares your wanderlust. Factors that loomed large in the past—good looks, financial success, whatever—may pale in the present as you acknowledge the importance of a partner who is kind and supportive, or one who is funny and entertaining.

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Even when expected, the death of a partner is a shocking heartbreak.

Weathering the waves of sadness — and building a new life without your mate — may pose the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced. Your partner would want you to be happy again, so banish the notion that you are somehow “betraying” him or her by seeing someone new.

(Some higher-end department stores offer this service free of charge.) Or ask a close friend to be brutally honest about what your ideal makeover would include. Research shows that many opportunities come through our “weak ties,” or people we know largely in passing: hairdresser, chiropractor, a neighbor’s visiting sister—even your seatmate on a flight! Most well-known dating sites have a large contingent of “seekers” in their 50s, 60s and 70s (and some in their 80s and even 90s), and several reputable sites are now completely free.

And whatever exercise you once enjoyed, try to make it part of your daily routine. Countless widows and widowers have met men and women of quality and intelligence online.

Show your best side in your online dating profiles and when you are on dates. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. It's true for every aspect of your life, including dating. Stop having Shiny Penny Syndrome, thinking there is always someone better out there for you. That's where relationship experts and dating coaches can be helpful. Don't be too transparent on a first date by revealing all the good, the bad and the ugly about yourself. Let it slide off you, knowing you are one date closer to finding the ONE you are looking for.

Never be married to an idea of who the person in your life must be. Know the current dating rules that will make you successful at finding love again after 50. No, you weren't handed them with your divorce papers. Go from invisibility to Rock Star Visibility with a great picture and profile online! Be Teflon-coated by knowing some people will like you and some won't. Alternatively, tag along with a friend the next time their office has a company picnic or function -- this is a great way to meet somebody who you know is responsible enough to hold down a career and who you can 'check out' with an acquainted friend before you agree to a date.

En español │After 20 years, you're single again and, heaven help you, on the brink of dating.

Approach that work colleague you always thought was kinda cute? And once you do score a date, what should you expect in terms of s-e-x?

They seem interested, but after a few e-mails, they disappear.

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