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However, for every 100 single black women, there are only 70 single black men, according to recent Census figures that do not count the prison population or men living in group homes. You can also hear Thorpe, Williams and author Natalie Hopkinson discuss dating on Washington Post Radio.Thorpe, who grew up in Allentown, Pa., and attended Penn State University and North Carolina Central University School of Law, is a panelist for a Washington, D. Transcript follows: ____________________ Suburban Virginia: Why does the typical black male father kids, then bolt from their responsibilities?Nothing is wrong with having standards, but when those standards are superficially based, I think it is detrimental.

I bet you see a lot of black men with kids out there in your dating adventures. Robyn Thorpe: I do meet men who have children and even though the men are not with their ex-girlfriends or wives, I find that most men I come into contact with are in their children's lives and try their best to be good fathers. C.: I think black men have high rates of dating outside of the race because their mentality can be likened to black kids in the doll experiment.

What does raise my eyebrows, is meeting a father and him telling me that he only dates women with no children. Remember the psychological experiment with black kids, where black kids preferred white baby dolls to black dolls?

I am 25-years-old, engaged and will be married next year.

I never put alot of focus on finding a man, but instead focused on making myself a better human being.

I've noted that many African men have these same views - and will call a black woman a slave, wench, etc., and a white woman a "prize". Robyn and would not look to Africa to find a prince. I'm sorry but it's sad to see a 45 year old never-been-married sista talking about the virtues of not settling.

It's because these men have low self esteem themselves that they are this way. C.: I'm a 35 year old BW who decided to exercise my options and to marry outside the culture (African). We may never have the ole-school love our parents had. We gotta start taking risks and finding love in new places.

I am haunted by the quote "All of life is a dispute over taste and tasting." It seems as a young professional Black Man I am torn between the variety of women that are attracted to me and the women I am attracted to.

I do date but lately I find that the dating scene is losing its luster and find myself thinking if it is all worth it. I am growing weary of the search but I love the chase and I do not want to settle for something less.

I allowed life to take its course and didn't set superficial standards that my future mate needed to meet in order for me to date him. Robyn Thorpe: You have a great perspective and just share it with your single friends. C.: What is so wrong with a man not being "into fat women"? Is it not true that you can tell a lot about someone based on external characteristics such as posture, speech/diction, tidiness, and body fat?

Robyn Thorpe: The poem was suppose to be in praise of all Black women and then it had a disclaimer, just the small ones.

What advice would you have for meeting women, who like you, are seriously looking?


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