And since I didn’t what it seems to say about you is that you have a girlfriend who needs to work on speaking up.
Sex conversations to read
Later on we can get to the stuff that’s going to make me feel like a dope. When we have sex together, it feels like it’s all about how or when you get off and not about me, too. And I have been enjoying myself, just not all the time, and just not to the point where I’m feeling as good as you are, or getting to an orgasm, like you do.
But now that you know, can I tell you what I need some more of, and can we talk about how we might do things differently from here on out? Alternate Conversation: You: I want to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me, and it isn’t easy to talk about, but I need to. You: Well, I keep feeling like maybe you don’t understand that just because you’re finished with sex, that doesn’t mean I am.
Please just be honest with me when you don’t want to do something, okay? But I’m trying, here, and this is tough for me, too. And I just feel like a loser for thinking things were so good for you when they weren’t, and because what does it say about me if I can’t make you come?
You: Well, unless I told you they weren’t, you couldn’t have known.
We can stop and start talking about it now if you want – so long as you understand I’m still not going to do it tonight – or we can keep doing what we were doing, or even just call it a night, but that’s it. I think it’s time to take things to the next level. You want to keep doing what we are, then, or want to just chill out? You: You know, I liked what we were doing, so if you’re cool, and we can keep it at that level, I’d like to keep doing that. I just want to let you know how I’m feeling, see how you’re feeling, and talk it over. Sorry to be so flustered, you just caught me off-guard. I do want to do that, too, I just didn’t know how to bring it up without making you feel uncomfortable. You: That’s okay: it feels a little uncomfortable for me to talk about it, too – I practiced saying this like eight times before you came over -- but I figure if I can’t be okay talking about it, I probably shouldn’t be doing it.
You: I’m cool going to the bedroom if you want to, but I don’t feel like it’s time for me to step things up yet. There’s also some things we should just sort out in advance, like, we’ve never talked about our sexual histories, or where we both see this relationship going these days.
Them: Well, I embarrass myself in front of you almost every day and you still like me.
And my feelings shouldn’t be hurt about what you like and you don’t: if they are, that’s my thing to deal with, not yours.
I’m still feeling kind of funny about all of this, and it might take me a little time to feel really comfortable again with sex, but I would like to talk about what you like for the next time, and I’m really sorry you felt like you had to pretend. You: I’m cool going to the bedroom if you want to, but I don’t feel like it’s time for me to step things up yet. Them: But we’ve been going out for a while now, it just feels right, and you’re so sexy right now. You: Hey, I’m glad you think I’m sexy: I think you’re hot, too.