As someone who has never, and will never, be pregnant, it’s extraordinarily stupid of me, mindnumbingly in fact, to comment on the difficulties of pregnancy.I do know that the experience of pregnancy ranges from ‘I glow in the rich warmth of life’ to ‘Get this thing out of me, in the name of God why are there still six months still to go? What I can do though, is offer some comforting nuggets of information. If they could only talk, there are several animals that would gladly join you for a bitch session about the horrific things that happen while you carry out hands-free complex biological engineering inside your body.
He promises never to say anything ever again, and so the circle of life continues as it should. Speaking of weird fish…“Why do shark babies cannibalise each other in the womb?
” is a question you never knew you wanted to ask with an answer you probably know that you don’t want to hear.
For days he has to dance around her, grab sea grass, change colour, and repeatedly flex his egg pouch to show its emptiness. Then she finally deposits the eggs in his pouch, or risks having to just blast them off into the water.
I also imagine he has to avoid saying stupid things like, ‘Are we actually fish? After that, he goes to make a comment about how he’s going to be eating for one thousand now and immediately stops upon meeting the glare of a female seahorse who now looks like an emptied tube of toothpaste.
“Fuck you”, would be the response of the mother kiwi, “Fuck you and your tiny offspring that takes up so little of your body cavity.”A quarter of her body weight. It becomes increasingly difficult to stand up, or to tie your little kiwi boots. In desperation you start sitting in puddles to take the weight off just a little bit. Hell, he even produces prolactin, the hormone that makes mammals produce milk. The human equivalent to producing a five year old except a five year old made out of hundreds of gelatinous eggs.
And I don’t think he even doing an easier job than the female. The male, even with all the extra weight, the nurturing and prolactin production, is still expending less energy than the female overall. Can you imagine the amount of energy that must take? Go fuck yourself kiwi, you flightlessly ironic emblem of the New Zealand Air Force, with your egg weighing 25 percent of your body weight.
the World's Biggest Site for Adults to meet for No Strings Dating is now live in New Zealand. Hey my names As Nikki, I was born in Australia but brought up in Nz, Auckland. Im a very out going, bubbly person who loves to party and shake my ass.
The site boasts more female members than any other female dating brand in the world.
And without the inevitable awkward sexual tension (seriously, they could half-siblings, just be aware. Now this article was never intended to show human mums how much worse things could be.